During 2008, the presidential election was riveting the country, and MSNBC's "Morning Joe" was gaining more and more of a following on television. For co-host Mika Brzezinski, it should have been a wonderful time. Instead, she was miserable and frequently contemplating bolting what was becoming an increasingly high-profile show.

The reason? The staggering pay disparity between Brzezinski and her "Morning Joe" co-hosts. Her personal crisis around her salary, and her attempts to fix it, became the core of her latest book, "Knowing Your Value." In her view, she kept falling in the traps that she says many women fall into as they attempt to navigate through the workplace.

As the show progressed, Brzezinski realized that she was making a great deal less money than anyone else on the show. She could feel it, she told The Huffington Post in an interview on Wednesday, when co-host Joe Scarborough could fly his entire family to whatever location they happened to be filming from while her girls had to stay home.

As it turns out, Scarborough was making fourteen times as much as she was. She didn't blame him for the startling gap in their pay; in her eyes, Scarborough had just secured a better deal for himself. "He was coming from prime time and I was coming from no job," she told HuffPost. "I absolutely understood a disparity." But she couldn't understand such a large one, and repeated attempts to get MSNBC President Phil Griffin to increase her salary failed.

Then, one day, Brzezinski went to take some money out of her bank account. She thought she would overdraw, but instead, found an eye-popping amount of extra money. She had no idea where it came from. As it turned out, Scarborough had diverted one of the bonuses he received for achieving a ratings goal into Brzezinski's account. Brzezinski said that, in Scarborough's mind, he was making a business investment: he didn't want her to walk, since the show would suffer. She insisted that it was not an act of kindness on Scarborough's part.

"Trust me, no one likes me that much," she said. "There are nice people in the world. No one's that nice."

However, Brzezinski did not react positively to this sudden infusion of cash.

"I was sickened by it," she said. But that feeling of revulsion led her to truly reach a decision about her future with MSNBC: that she would either get a raise, or she would quit. When she went to meet with Griffin yet again, she was successful. She likened him to a "bad boyfriend" who only took and never gave anything back.

She said this approach worked "because I meant it and because it was me and because I was absolutely ready to walk. I was not apologetic." It was this revelation, she says, that led her to write the book: the previous attempts to increase her salary had failed because she had not "known her value" to MSNBC. (Even so, by her own admission, Scarborough still makes quite a bit more money than she does.)

For all the talk about knowing your value and being more aggressive in negotiations, though, isn't a huge part of the problem a systemic one? What about the institutionalized sexism that has resulted in a pay gap between men and women everywhere? Why is it that, in Brzezinski's telling, her signing of that initial contract reflected poorly on her, but Griffin's offering of the contract--and subsequent refusals to increase her salary--did not reflect poorly on him?

Brzezinski said that she addresses those things in the book--and stressed that the pay gap is the reason she wrote it in the first place. "I lay out the numbers," she said. 'I lay out the disparities across the board. But the book is about the things we can control. We've got to stop apologizing. We've got to stop scrambling and feeling so grateful to be there."

As for Griffin, she said, he was simply being a good businessman.

"I am not Phil's victim," she said. "He was doing the right thing, what anybody would want someone in his position to do. What are you supposed to do, throw money away? We all have to look in the mirror."

Brzezinski also addressed another issue that often seems to pop up: her day-to-day role on the show. A widely-read article in The New Republic called "The Pathetic Sexism of 'Morning Joe'" noted that Scarborough talks much more than Brzezinski and essentially accused the program of treating her as a second-tier member of the team, asking, "why is she so quiet?" At the time, Brzezinski said she would try to speak up more. By Wednesday, she was more combative about the kerfuffle.

"I am far more vocal in ways that the viewer never sees," she said. "Joe is the creator. I’m the executor. And I really don’t care what people think."

Finally, on a wholly unrelated subject, Brzezinski responded to recent rumors that she and Scarborough may be following their executive producer, Chris Licht, to CBS News, where he is widely believed to be going. Asked about the speculation, Brzezinski laughed.

"They fired me," she said. "Wouldn't that be something?"

Soure: Huffington Post

Part memoir and part manifesto, Mika Brzezinski’s Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You’re Worth chronicles the author’s struggles as a woman in the workforce—and outlines the dos and don’ts of achieving equal pay. At a cocktail party on Monday night, the Morning Joe co-host’s fans and coworkers toasted the career woman’s ascent.

It’s 10 a.m. on a Tuesday at work, and time for a change. You’ve proven your worth at your job and finally gathered up the nerve to ask your boss for a raise. You smooth over your skirt, stand up straight, and tentatively knock on your manager’s door: “I’m sorry, I know you’re super busy, but…”

On the defensive already? Better luck next time.

Apologizing doesn’t get you very far in the working world, particularly when you haven’t done anything wrong. Still, many successful and talented women have a tendency to be timid in the office—even more so when they’re a minority amongst men. It’s hard to imagine Mika Brzezinski—the charismatic co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe—not coming across as forthright in a conversation, particularly one concerning her own career. Yet she confesses to being passive at work on several occasions in her new book Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You’re Worth, and advises readers not to follow in her footsteps. Brzezinski learned through her mistakes that the only way to get the positions and wages she deserved throughout her career was to ask for them—confidently, not brazenly—and have faith in her own value.

Women and men lauded Brzezinski’s numerous accomplishments at a party celebrating her book launch on Monday night, hosted by The Newsweek Daily Beast Company’s editor in chief, Tina Brown, and MDC Partners’ CEO and chairman, Miles Nadal. Prior to joining NBC, Brzezinski was a news correspondent and anchor at CBS, where she frequently appeared on 60 Minutes and reported live from the scene of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. She is also the author of New York Times bestseller All Things at Once.

“It’s great to be here to celebrate Mika’s second book,” said New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg to a crowd of Brzezinski’s co-workers, friends, and admirers at Michael’s Restaurant in midtown Manhattan. “Nobody’s going to tell Joe [Scarborough, Brzezinski’s morning co-host] that I said this, but he’s nothing without you!” Scarborough was part of the reason Brzezinski almost left MSNBC after four months of busting her hump to help make Morning Joe an immediate success. Joe was the show’s creator, but he was also Brzezinski’s peer, and his salary was exponentially larger than hers. When Brzezinski sat down with her colleague to tell him she couldn’t afford to stay, he interrupted her before she could finish: “No, you can’t leave.” Almost as quickly as he cut her off, Joe quietly demanded that MSNBC transfer his ratings bonuses to Brzezinski’s account without alerting her of his ploy. She was livid upon learning where the lump sum deposited to her account by “NBC” really came from. Despite her protests, “he knew that it was a business investment, that [the show] wouldn’t be the same without her,” said Morning Joe executive producer Chris Licht. “I think it reinforced her belief that she was valuable—that the three of us knew she was valuable, and it was a question of making NBC understand it.”

Joe’s investment was a springboard for Brzezinski. If she and her partner knew she was worth more than she was earning, MSNBC’s president was going to know it too—and he was going to hear it from her, or let her go. With a subtle bounce in her gait, she walked into Phil Griffin’s office and told him candidly that she deserved to be paid more.

“You’re right,” he replied. “We will fix this. I will fix this.” Within months of their brief discussion, Brzezinski had a new contract. This series of events led her to the culminating “aha!” moment of her career: She had been her own worst enemy too many times, continuously undermining her value in comparison to male coworkers. The same was true for countless other extraordinary women pioneering successful businesses and world initiatives, many of whom she’d worked with and interviewed as a news anchor. Her conversations with them about the working woman’s plight inspired her to tell her story—and theirs—in Knowing Your Value. A host of female professionals and visionaries contribute insight and advice in Brzezinski’s memoir cum manifesto, including Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, writer and filmmaker Nora Ephron, media moguls Arianna Huffington and Tina Brown, and President Obama’s senior adviser Valerie Jarrett.

“Somehow it’s unseemly for women to promote themselves,” Jarrett writes in Knowing Your Value. “We think that there’s a meritocracy that’s hierarchical, and that people at the top make the decisions about what promotions are based on.” There’s irony here worth exploring; in an ideal world, the work place would be a hierarchical meritocracy, with the most valuable players climbing to the leadership summit. In reality, gender often trumps value, and men dominate both the meritocracy and the hierarchy. Jarrett’s bottom line: “If you’re not asking for a promotion … you’re not going to get the gold ring.” If you ask for it sheepishly, you might as well not ask at all.

On Monday night, Brzezinski admitted that Jarrett pushed her to write the book when she was hesitant. Buttressing her manifesto with collected stories from other career-driven women was a strategic move on the author’s part (many voices are greater than one, of course). Knowing Your Value presents Brzezinski as a natural leader and change agent with a knack for bringing powerful female figures together. “As a girlfriend, she is one of the best around,” said Tina Brown, who regularly appears on Morning Joe. “In that dawn light, Mika is always there in a really connective and supportive way.”

If women undervalued themselves in the past, supporting one another will fundamentally affect how they rate their self-worth in the future. “We are valid working members of professional society,” said Brzezinski at the end of the evening. “[We have to] look at ourselves and how we communicate our values and also how we handle each other.”

Source: The Daily Beast

You're doing it wrong. This is a message most women receive from about age 6 until, presumably, death. After decades of learning that being ourselves is tantamount to inviting failure, whether in love, friendship, parenting, career, or overall happiness, we can only assume that we'll recline on our deathbeds and be informed that, over the course of our last few minutes on this mortal coil, we've been far too "clingy" (Not the best way to get people to mourn your passing!), yet much too "bossy" and "overbearing" with the nursing staff (You catch more bees with honey!), and also so "controlling" (Stop trying to influence how your children remember you! For godsakes, let it go!) and "neurotic" (It's just death, everybody does it. You're overthinking this!) and too "emotional" (Can't you see that you're making your children uncomfortable?) but also too "cold" (Seriously, when was the last time you gave your husband a blow job?) and too "vain" (I can't believe you're trying to hide your bed pan at a time like this!) but also too "resigned" (That hospital gown isn't doing you any favors!). We will say goodbye to our friends and family knowing one thing, beyond a shadow of a doubt: They're just not that into us.

In her new book, Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You're Worth, Mika Brzezinski, cohost of MSNBC's Morning Joe, urges women to ask for the raises they deserve. Although the book is well written and packed with pragmatic advice, it might just as easily be titled, You're Doing It Wrong Again, Dummy. Naturally we already understand the basic thrust here, and it appeals directly to some part of our lizard brains, the part that's been conditioned to sizzle and spark at the sound of certain words, words like "self-sabotage!" and "wrong!" and "bad!" We've heard these same directives over and over again during the course of our lifetimes, after all, sometimes with the derogatory tone, sometimes with a nurturing, hand-holding, ya-ya sisterhood tone in its place. From Women Who Love Too Much to Lies Women Believe to Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office, books about how women mess up their lives have crowded our bookshelves for decades. Brzezinski's missive combines the two messages common to these books: 1.) Stop being yourself, at all costs. And 2.) You go, girl!

More specifically, Brzezinski asserts that women are self-sabotaging because they a.) don't ask for what they want and need at work because they b.) feel lucky just to have the job and c.) place a lot of emphasis on feeling appreciated and needed, plus they d.) assume that if they work very hard and make themselves invaluable, that someone up above will notice and then they'll be rewarded for it. In other words, women are polite, grateful, considerate, and hard-working and they believe that these are qualities that will make them successful in the modern workplace. Ha ha ha ha! What fools!

In response to her own work woes (she fought for a raise from NBC for years, and still reports that she's paid much less than cohost Joe Scarborough), Brzezinski solicits input from a long list of successful professionals in her book, from Newsweek/Daily Beast editor Tina Brown to money guru Suze Orman to businessman and birther Donald Trump. Most agree with Brzezinski that the workplace can be a tough place for women. So why does the conversation shift so quickly from What's Wrong With The Workplace to What's Wrong With Women? "We are our own worst enemy," Obama senior advisor Valerie Jarrett tells Brzezinski. "Somehow it's unseemly for women to promote themselves. We think that there's a meritocracy that's hierarchical, and the people at the top make the decisions about what promotions are based on." Hold on there. Shouldn't the workplace be a hierarchical meritocracy, ideally? Can we at least take a second to mourn the fact that it isn't, before we explore the folds of our ignorance yet again?

Jarrett suggests that women shouldn't sit back and wait for their bosses to recognize their work. Instead, they must demand to be recognized, they must "charge the hill" like their male counterparts! Carol Smith, former chief brand officer at Elle, agrees. "We women think we will work very, very hard [and] we will get the gold star, and then the money will come. When the money doesn't come, instead of walking into the boss's office.... We sit around and earn one fifteenth of what the man next door earns." Yes, that's what's wrong with us! We sit around, working our lazy asses off!

Throughout Brzezinski's book, big-picture questions are sidestepped for more discouraging news: When women do ask for raises—surprise!—they go about it all wrong. Brzezinski and her crew advise against being "apologetic" (by starting your request with "I know you're busy, but..."). Instead of explaining yourself or your particular situation, instead of looking "sad" (as Tina Brown puts it in the book), women should march right in and throw down the gauntlet like men do, saying "I deserve x and I'm leaving if I don't get it."

But ladies, make sure not to be too assertive when you're throwing down the gauntlet, because, as Brzezinski points out, both men and women judge assertive women badly. The author also asserts (but not too assertively!) that simply aping what men do rarely works. "Authenticity is a huge deal," GE CEO Jack Welsh tells her. But hold on! Haven't we already been told that our authentic selves—so sensitive, hard-working, emotionally expressive, and polite—are getting us into this mess in the first place? How is it even possible to assert yourself without seeming assertive, or to imitate men without seeming inauthentic? Even if you succeed at that crazy charade, it's unlikely to work, since, in studies mentioned by Brzezinski, both men and women judge the same job candidate as more competent and better qualified if there's a man's name on the resume.

Although Brzezinski acknowledges the difficulty in walking this "tightrope of acceptable behavior," her book is a rallying cry for women to get the money they deserve by... walking that tightrope. Even in closing, Brzezinski takes a look at the current state of affairs for women in the workplace, then shrugs and admits that there are few clear answers. Instead, she turns to Tina Brown, who confesses that in many corporate environments, "you either leave or you fight like hell or you're squashed.... I think the best thing for women, frankly, is to leave and start their own companies."

Apparently, we really are our own worst enemies. Because, rather than enlisting us to challenge the impossible standards applied to women in the workplace, rather than instructing us to confront those who shortchange or replace women on maternity leave, or who denigrate respectful co-workers while glorifying arrogant so-called superstars, this book once again instructs women to speak up (But not too loudly!), to put our foot down (But gently! Don't get mad!), to make allies with "influential men" (But don't give them the wrong idea!) and to show some emotion (But not too much!). Do we really have to choose between blending in with the lunatics in the asylum, or sacrificing our careers for the sake of our principles?

Maybe it's time we abandoned this pattern of alternately denigrating each other, then puffing each other up with empty "You go, girl!" pats on the back. Rather than struggling to find some imaginary "right" way to stand up for ourselves in the workplace, perhaps we could refocus our efforts on standing up for each other—which should include decrying the absurdly biased, nonsensical practices we encounter every day. Together, we have to believe that someday, we might live in a world where it doesn't feel like a big mistake just to be ourselves.

Source: The Atlantic

In her new book, Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You’re Worth (Weinstein Books), journalist Mika Brzezinski—Joe Scarborough’s co-host on MSNBC’s Morning Joe—traces her unconventional career path, addressing the one topic she has had trouble communicating off-air: her worth in the workplace. Brzezinski, discussing her own professional experiences as well as the latest research on equal pay and negotiation tactics, also focuses on some of the country’s most successful career women—writer and director Nora Ephron, presidential advisor Valerie Jarrett, Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, comedian Susie Essman—for their words of wisdom. Below, Brzezinski describes the “random trick of fate,” in 2007, that connected her with Scarborough.

Click here to listen to the podcast. Source: Vanity Fair

Talk about a comeback. Mika Brzezinski was fired from her job as an anchor at CBS without warning...But it was only a matter of time before she was back on top — kicking major network butt on MSNBC's Morning Joe. In her new book, Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth, Brzezinski shared with Cosmo the tips she used to climb back up the ladder — and how to use them to score yourself a raise.

1. Don’t be afraid to piss people off. When your boss asks you about the lateness of a project in a meeting, you call out your co-worker for missing a major deadline on it. Awkward, yes, but don't even think about apologizing to her post-meeting. If she wants to hold a grudge against you, let her — the fact is, she wasn't doing her job, and you called a spade a spade. "I've had meetings with people where I've repeated in my head, 'it doesn’t matter if she likes me,' and I've found that allows me to be exact, honest, and to give thought-out, unemotional answers," says Brzezinski. "It doesn't matter if your co-workers like you. If you are being productive and you're being valuable, your work adds to the equation of the company. You will stay there and you will thrive," she says.

2. Brag about your accomplishments first. Then ask for a raise. Talking to your boss about a raise can be an uncomfortable conversation — just ask Brzezinski. She’s been there — and gotten shot down — a few times. Her secret weapon for success: a list. "Make a list of everything you do, how much time it takes, and what value it brings to the company. Research what people in your position at other companies make for their accomplishments. How much value do they bring to the table? Do you bring more, and why?" Use this list as the basis of your conversation with your boss, and then ask for your salary to be increased to reflect your value. If your request isn't met, don't get emotional about it. Use the information you prepared to update your resume so you can be ready to move on when an opportunity arises. And continue to be professional and do your best at work until you have a better offer.

3. Keep your friends close… And leave your co-workers at the office. "You have colleagues. Get used to the word," advises Brzezinski. "They're not your friends. In tough, stressful, competitive industries, there aren't that many friends. Get over that." Cut the chit-chat on Gchat, the mid-afternoon coffee runs, or the hour-long let's-bitch-about-our-bosses lunch. You'll be amazed at how much you accomplish in one week. And the best part? You'll have more time to spend with your real friends — the ones who were there when you were unemployed and sleeping on their couches.

4. Remember business is business. It's not personal. Your co-worker got chosen to lead a big project, while you're left sitting pretty on the sidelines. Wait until you get home to call your BFF and bitch. If you need to, go outside and scream. But remember, tomorrow offers a fresh start. "Don't let anything build up in your mind," says Brzezinski. "We constantly let clutter into our brains and it just builds up — and distracts us." Focus on the fact that while she's leading the project, you're still part of the team. Letting the resentment stew in your mind just makes you less able to do your best work.

5. Make yourself visible (and not just by wearing something red). "Do you need to scream at the top of your lungs like a man and pound on the table? No," says Brzezinski. But you do need to find a way to call out your accomplishments. "Being excited about your work is great. Send an email to your boss about a goal that's been met or a deal that's been struck," she advises. Bring attention to yourself and don't feel uncomfortable about it. "You've got to find your own attractive way of communication." So whether it's an email, or a weekly meeting where you outline goals you've accomplished, be your own cheerleader, and your boss will think of you when it's time for a promotion.

Source: Cosmopolitan

Asking for a raise is never easy, even for successful women like Mika Brzezinski. Famous for her on-air refusal to read a report about Paris Hilton’s release from jail, the outspoken journalist nearly quit her job as co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe when she found out that her male counterpart, Joe Scarborough, was making 14 times her salary. In her candid memoir, Knowing Your Value, Brzezinski shares how she found her voice and finally got the raise she deserved.

I was very frank in the book. And you know what? It was liberating to write. Not a lot was edited out. In fact, two words were edited out. I handed it to my boss, the president of MSNBC, Phil Griffin, and I sat with him, and he read this book in front of me, page after page after page—about himself, about our company, about what we went through, about the other women that have chimed in with me—and I sat there shriveled up, thinking, “This is it. How much of this are we going to redact? And how frustrated am I going to feel when I walk out the door?” In the book there are moments where Phil uses a curse word, where he’s talking to Joe. He said, “Motherfucker, is she crazy?” Well, [in the book] I’d actually used the word “dude” to protect him. But he goes, “Nope. You know I don’t say ‘dude.’ I say ‘motherfucker.’ Can you put that back?” He basically corrected the one thing I didn’t put in there perfectly…Then he said, “What can we do to help you with this?”

I gotta tell you, I’m still surprised at what can happen when you’re transparent—when you’re just yourself and you tell the truth. And you’re honest not only about yourself but about the world around you. I have found that only positive things have come from it.

Speaking of transparency, how can women figure out how much they are worth to negotiate a raise?

Anyway you can. Find out. Do research. What’s the data? Who has the job that you have? Are there counterparts in your company? What about other companies? How much do they get paid? That information is out there.

I found out just by working with my coworkers, and us working so hard together that we ended up discussing these things. You can do that. Why not? Why is it taboo? You only help each other, by the way, by being transparent about what men and women make. You know what the worst thing is? Finding out in retrospect. I will tell you, I found out in retrospect that I was the lowest paid at the table of Morning Joe. That was a pretty degrading feeling.

Why did you—and so many other women—settle for less than what you were worth?

I don’t blame my company for getting the best price they could get for me. I don’t blame MSNBC for what I did, which was sign a contract and take a salary that was far below my value. I just want to be clear that actually, most of what went wrong for me started with me. It could have been fixed if I had been far more knowledgeable, deep in my heart, about what it was that I brought to the table.

None of this happens without addressing the psychology of it, and what it is that we want out of our employers. Far too many times we want to be liked. Loved. And to be considered part of the team more than we want our value. It’s stunning to me how much this happens. I was talking to a good friend of mine who appears in my book, More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour, who talked about a boss giving her a pair of earrings and saying how much she loved her. It’s just ridiculous. So what? I don’t want earrings. I don’t really care what the emotion is. The question is do you respect my value? The only way you can show it is to pay for it.

Women in general are not making as much as their male counterparts, even at the second and the third level, and it will take a lot to get us where we should be, but we do need to address our part in this and what we can change in order to change that conversation, and that’s what I think that this book does, is it makes us take a look at the conversations before we have them.

Source: Kirkus Reviews

How can you get paid what you deserve?

The answer, maintains TV's Mika Brzezinski, can be different for women than it is for men. We asked the co-anchor of MSNBC's news and politics talk show Morning Joe and author of a new book directed at women, Knowing Your Value, due out May 3, her top tips for women on how to land that raise — and men may find them helpful, too:

Be calm. Don't “yell, threaten, pound on the table,” Brzezinski emphasizes. “Rather, be authentic and use every communication ability you possess,” minus the histrionics.

Silence the drama. “No one needs to hear the drama of your life,” Brzezinski says.

Stick to your guns. “If you tell your boss you need a raise or you're going to walk, you sure as hell had better be prepared to walk!” Brzezinski says.

Don't apologize. Women have a “sickness” of thinking they'll to do better if they ingratiate themselves. “Starting with ‘I know this is a bad time but,' or ‘By the way ' is another way of saying, ‘Don't give me what I'm about to ask for.' You're not sorry — you mean to say, ‘I'm not getting paid my value.' ”

Source: USA Today

Brzezinski knew that her role as cohost of the MSNBC show Morning Joe was integral to the show's success, and yet she was getting paid a fraction of what her male counterparts were. The network was certainly to blame, but so, she realized, was she; this was just the last in a long run of jobs where she'd seen a salary discrepancy, worked long hours to prove herself, got angry at herself for not earning more money and respect, and stormed off and got a new job--only to repeat the pattern. Wondering if other successful women also consistently undermined and undercut themselves, she interviews power women--Obama senior adviser Valerie Jarrett, Tina Brown, Nora Ephron, Suze Orman, and Facebook CEO Sheryl Sandberg. Brzezinski illustrates how women undervalue themselves in the workplace--excessive gratitude "just to have the opportunity," not negotiating their contracts, taking on extra work for which they're not being paid, and asking for raises in ways in which they're virtually certain to be turned down. While these insights are familiar, the celebrity angle provides much-needed perspective--if even the most successful women undervalue themselves out of a desire to be liked, as Joy Behar admits, then clearly the rest of us accepting 77 cents on our male colleagues' dollar are not alone. A thoughtful look at how women can quit getting in their own way. (May)

Source: Publishers Weekly